Who knew that umbrellas could be so funny? We’re not talking about the different designs that you can buy that can look like a thatched hut or a globe. We’re talking the different jokes that “star” one of the best inventions that we all take for granted – the umbrella. Some of these jokes are silly and some are what we term “groaners.” You know those jokes, which are almost too stupid to be funny? Then there are a few too risqué to be placed here! Anyway, read on for some of these umbrella jokes and judge them for yourself!

Silly jokes:

Joke: Three large men were using one very small umbrella, yet none of them got wet. How?
Answer: It wasn't raining!

Joke: A guy went out in pouring rain with no umbrella or hat or anything. Not a hair on his head got wet. How come?
Answer: He was bald! He didn't have a hair on his head!

Umbrella Story Jokes:

The Old Man

An 85 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun."

The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle." "And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.

Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No."

The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"

"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."

"That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor.

The Gift (A funny umbrella story for our Jewish friends)

There was a young man, who was known for his lack of study and the rabbi of the congregation, was not about to let this go unnoticed. He performed his Bar Mitzvah, and rose to the occasion as best he could, with the minimal lack of preparation.

When it came time to hand out the gifts to the young lad, he received the usual Kiddush Cup, and Bible, from the congregation.

But then the rabbi added a special gift. He said, "You have received many gifts today, many treasures of Indiums in book form, that will enrich your life, and make it, holy, in the eyes of Hashem...and now for my own special gift to you", with that he pulled out an UMBRELLA, from behind the lectern, and told the boy, who had become a man, in the previous half hour, "I present you this umbrella, because, I want to give you a gift that at least I know you will open."

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